When Your Reactions Don’t Match the Moment

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Have you ever found yourself reacting in a way that feels bigger than what is happening?

Maybe it’s a moment with your child, your partner, or even something small like a comment or a tone of voice. Suddenly, you feel overwhelmed, shut down, defensive, or hurt in a way that doesn’t quite make sense.

In these moments, it can be easy to judge yourself. To wonder why you can’t just stay calm. To try to fix the reaction or push it away. But what if these reactions are not the problem? What if they are the doorway?

Inner child healing invites us to see these moments differently. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” we begin to ask, “What is this reminding me of?” or even more gently, “Where have I felt this before?”

The C.O.R.E. healing process gives us a way to walk into these moments with curiosity instead of fear. Through conscious awareness, you begin by noticing what is happening in your body. Maybe your chest feels tight, your throat closes, or your stomach drops. You don’t rush past it. You stay.

Ownership allows you to shift from blaming the situation to recognizing that something deeper is being activated within you. This is not about fault. It’s about access. When you take ownership, you gain the ability to listen.

As you move into the retrieve and release phase, you may begin to sense the origin of this feeling. A moment from childhood. A familiar emotional pattern. A younger version of you who felt the same way and didn’t have the support to process it.

And here is where everything begins to change.

Instead of abandoning that part of you—by distracting, numbing, or reacting—you begin to stay with it. You listen. You acknowledge what it went through. You allow the emotion to move, to soften, to be felt in a way it couldn’t before.

This is not always a dramatic moment. Often, it is subtle. A softening in the body. A quiet exhale. A shift from tension to a small sense of space.

And from that space, you begin to engage differently with your life.

Your reactions begin to change, not because you forced them to, but because you are no longer carrying them in the same way.

Invitation: Think of a recent moment where your reaction felt bigger than the situation. Without trying to fix it, gently revisit that moment and ask yourself, “What did that feel like in my body?” and “Does this feeling feel familiar?” Let your body guide you.